Life in the office can get… tedious. When you work in the same office, with the same people, and sometimes even at the exact same desk for years, you’ve got to find ways to make things interesting. Enter: conference call humor.
Sure, virtual meetings seem like one of the least funny things on the planet. We all know how boring and frustrating it can be waiting for stragglers to join a conference call (if you’re guilty of this, you might want to brush up on your phone conference etiquette!). But that doesn’t mean we can’t dig deep and laugh at how ridiculous some conference calls can be!
TV characters are allowed to take pranks to the next level but in most offices, we have to find less painful and less distracting ways to have fun while working. And what better place to start than the “dreaded” phone conference.
Read on for some of the funniest conference call jokes, quotes, and memes.
Funniest Conference Call Quotes
If you have fun at work, consider yourself lucky. For the most part, work is serious business. But every once in a while, something so ridiculous happens that you can’t help but laugh. Teleconferences and virtual meetings are goldmines for these moments. Here are some hilarious conference call quotes you may hear and situations you may experience during audio conferences.
1. Ugh… this meeting is a complete waste of time…
Quote: “Ugh… this meeting is a complete waste of time… Oh crap! You guys can hear me?”
– Person that is probably looking for a new job right about now
Too many of us have experienced this conference call quote one way or another. Everyone needs to vent every once in a while. But avoid doing it during a call – and if you must vent, at least double-check you’re on mute!
2. Day 3 of WFH and my family started screaming…
Quote: Day 3 of WFH and my family started screaming while I was in a meeting and my coworker remarked:’Now I understand why you prefer to go into the office everyday.
— rimsha (Twitter)
Not everyone prefers working from home. We can’t imagine why.
Every once in a while, you’ll hear something on a call you weren’t supposed to. It might be embarrassing for the person who has say, a screaming family in the background, but it sure makes a boring meeting more exciting for everyone else! And it makes for some great conference call humor.
3.So lemme just share my screen…
Quote: So, lemme just share my screen…one second. OK can everyone see my screen?
—Tristan Harward (Twitter)
If you’ve been in even one virtual meeting, odds are you’ve heard this conference call quote. You probably even hear your boss’ voice in your head as you read it. Since there’s already the “YouTuber voice” and “NPR voice” phenomenon, how long until “virtual meeting voice” becomes equally recognizable (and loathed)?
4. Flush!
Quote: Flushhh!
—Unknown
Have you ever been in an audio conference and heard this? Talk about awkward! It seems ridiculous but you’d be surprised how often it happens. In fact, “Flusher” has made the list of common and cringeworthy conference call personalities.
Unsurprisingly, the culprit never wants to fess up. Hey, could be worse: it could be a video call!
5.Stop snoring, Nicole…
Quote: Stop snoring, Nicole — you’re still on that conference call.
Let’s be honest. Sometimes conference calls can run a little bit long. And while most of us probably haven’t nodded off in the middle of a meeting, we’re willing to bet that all of us have thought about it.
6. Well, I think – sorry, go ahead…
Quote: Well, I think – sorry, go ahead… Oh, OK. I was just gonna say we should – oops… OK, how about you go and then I’ll go?
– All of us on every conference call ever
As more and more meetings go virtual, people will inevitably get used to teleconferences and these hilarious instances will become increasingly rare. But for now, let’s just enjoy the chaos.
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Funniest Conference Call Jokes
Let’s face it—audio conferencing can be awkward. Why not break the ice with a conference call joke? If no one laughs, don’t worry. They all probably just forgot to unmute their microphones!
1. How does NASA set up a conference call?
They planet.
2. Did you hear about the couple that got engaged during a teleconference?
He saved money by giving her a ring on the phone.
3.Why did the conference call service go out of business?
They used up all their cache.
Well, perhaps these jokes won’t land you a career in comedy. But if you’re on a work call, no one can tell you to “stick to your day job.” And who doesn’t like a little bit of conference call humor? Speaking of which, let’s get into some relatable conference call memes.
Conference Call Memes
The Over-Sharing Screen Share
Screen sharing is great—when you know it’s happening. It can expedite a call by helping you share a lot of data or complicated visuals with the other callers. But it enters conference call humor territory when the person sharing their screen forgets to close the rest of their windows.
If you’re sharing your screen, make sure you know everything that’s visible before you start! Once the screen share begins, there’s no hiding anything on your desktop from everyone on the call.
Have you ever had someone share their screen with you only to get a very full view of a very personal item in their Amazon shopping cart? Or an accidental look at their selfies folder? Or their mile-long credit card statement? Or, the worst: an email or instant message about someone on the conference call?
To quote Valerie Cherish from HBO’s The Comeback, “I don’t need to see that!” For fear of having to get HR involved, it’s best to make sure your screen is clean before sharing.
You don’t want to get a reputation for having a questionable screen every time you start a screen share. It’d be like being known around the office as the one guy who never washes his hands after using the bathroom. Having something embarrassing show up on a screen during a screen share is funny…as long as you’re not the one it’s happening to.
(Conference call humor aside, Branded Bridge Line offers screen sharing as one of the included conference call services with each of its conference plans, making screen sharing easier than ever. Just make sure you close your tabs before starting the screen share!)
Got Mute?
What about all of the times someone has forgotten to put their phone on mute after joining the call? Take this journey through conference call humor with us, to the land of The Forgotten Mute in. It’s a scary, often embarrassing landscape defined by overhearing conversations you never wanted to be a part of in the first place. This spooky conference call meme illustrates the point perfectly.
It’s late in the afternoon and you remember you’ve got a call scheduled to go through your department’s latest invoices with the accounting team. So far, normal conference call. But, is that Forgotten Mute Mountain you see way off in the distance? Only time will tell. Let’s keep going.
Imagine Martin from Accounting is doing some multi-tasking (he’s known for having one of the worst phone conference personalities in the office) and takes the conference call while he’s picking up his son from school. No conference call humor yet—so far we just know that Martin loves talking about his kids and is a very efficient guy.
He loves talking about his kids so much that we even all know that Martin Jr. had been acting out lately (Martin Sr. can be a bit of an… oversharer). But now, thanks to Martin taking everyone on the conference call to the Land of the Forgotten Mute, everyone on the call also knows that Martin Jr. calls his father “Fartin’ Martin!” Sure, there’s a general odor that emanates from Martin’s desk in Accounting… but everyone always thought it was coming from the vents? Conference call humor or just TMI…?
Say What?
We’re all thinking it: one of the best things about audio conferencing is that no one can see your face. It means you don’t have to edit your facial expressions when someone says something unwittingly outrageous. You’ve been there!
Conference calls can be better than in-person meetings for a lot of reasons. They are usually quicker, and you don’t have to leave the office to attend them. But, being able to silently scream into your phone in the middle of a meeting is undoubtedly one of a conference call’s best qualities.
(And if we’re being honest, there are several other situations where it would be nice to be able to hide your facial expressions in real life. Have you ever had a coworker invite you to their Level 1 improv show? And you agree thinking you’ll be able to get some good “work friend” points without having to contribute too much of your time outside the office but when you show up to the “theater” it’s actually more like a small room where everyone can see your face, especially the “performers” on the “stage?” All of the sudden you’re wishing you could have conferenced into the show instead of having to be there in person because every face you make is like the one you’d make on a bad conference call!)
*Sigh* I Have to Hop on a Conference Call
This next conference call meme goes out to all the people who somehow spend 80 hours of their 40-hour work week in meetings.
We all know the type. We’ll call her Sheryl. Sheryl is the coworker who is always scheduled to be in at least two meetings at all times. Now, we at Branded Bridge Line believe that conference calls are still the most efficient way to connect lots of people in different locations in a short amount of time. However, people who are always “hopping on a conference call” are sometimes just self-involved and afraid to do any actual work.
It’s likely the case that people who are constantly too busy to get anything done because they have so many meetings are the same people who proudly wore that shirt in high school, “I can’t… I have rehearsal.” Now, having conference calls “all the time” not only keeps you from getting your work done, but can ultimately put undue pressure on your coworkers. It doesn’t have to be like this, Sheryl.
Virtual meetings are a great way to assign out tasks for important projects and update stakeholders on progress. They are not an excuse to get you out of doing real work.
I Hope No One Notices I’m Late
Joining a call is usually the most frustrating part of any phone conferencing experience. The struggle of joining doesn’t lead to much conference call humor, but the stories about it can.
People are always late and, depending on the conferencing software you use, their arrivals might be accompanied by a loud beep or annoying tone. Sometimes the worst conferencing systems are the ones that make you record your name before letting you join, subjecting everyone already on the call to an interruption that lasts several seconds.
You’ve been there. You’re all waiting for Andy from Marketing to join the call. You give him two minutes, still nothing. The host sends him an email reminding him the conference started five minutes ago, passive aggressively asking, “Is there a time that might work better for you?” Another five minutes pass, he’s still nowhere to be found. So, you make the decision to move ahead without Andy. Someone can catch him up afterwards – they always do.
You launch into your precisely researched and well-rehearsed explanation of this quarter’s earning’s bump when, “BEEEEEEP! (garble, garble, buzz, buzz) I’m Andy from Marketing. Wait, is this thing even working…” interrupts you mid-sentence. There’s Andy, every time, without fail.
Bonus: A Funny Conference Call Video
With all the hilarious things that can happen during a conference call, you’d think there’d be a viral video by now. Well, there is. Comedians Tripp and Tyler recreated basically everyone’s experience with this funny conference call video:
What’s the funniest thing that’s ever happened to you on a conference call? Hopefully this post lightened your day and made the idea of conference calls a little funnier. Let’s face it, we take so many conference calls over the course of any given week, we could all use a little conference call humor and better conference call services.
